Knights of Ongaku
by Komashin Sei
Summary: Magic Knight Rayearth comedic alternate universe.  What if Cephiro were instead a world that revolved around magical music and faced a threat of eternal Silence?  Rated K(plus) for Saturday morning cartoon-level slapstick violence. Complete.


_Magic Knight Rayearth_ comedic alternate universe co-authored by Komashin Sei and James. What if Cephiro were instead a world that revolved around magical music and faced a threat of eternal Silence? Rated K+ for Saturday morning cartoon-level slapstick violence. (Written 9/30/1998, so please don't assess our contemporary writing quality based on this piece, thanks!)

* * *

"Help! Help save this world, legendary Magic Knights!"

Tokyo Tower, 1994 A.D.

"This field trip is really boring... almost as boring as our trip to the thimble museum. Don't you think so too, Hikaru?"

A short red-haired girl turned from her mounted telescope.

"This is so cool! I love it!" she exclaimed. "Oh, no!"

"What is it, Hikaru?"

"My time ran out! Money, money, I need money!"

Hikaru searched frantically through her pockets but came up empty-handed.

"Maybe you shouldn't have bought all that _RG Veda_ manga yesterday. You always spend too much on _tankouban_."

"Hm?"

Hikaru looked up to see a hand putting a 10 yen coin into the telescope. A blonde girl in a green private school uniform smiled.

"There, now you can keep using it. I've enjoyed watching you enjoying it so much."

Hikaru watched her walk away; she was really pretty.

"I'm going to go thank her," Hikaru told her friend, and hurried after the girl.

Hikaru noticed a beautiful blue-haired girl standing with her school group. She looked up as the blonde turned to face them too.

Just then, a bright yellow light engulfed Tokyo Tower.

"Help! Help save this world, legendary Magic Knights!"

Suddenly the floor beneath Hikaru and the other two girls dissolved and they were falling through the air into a strange-looking country.

* * *

The blue-haired girl crashed into the ground.

"Are you okay?" asked the blonde girl, brushing herself off.

"What do you think? I just injured my spine! Where's a phone to call my chiropractor?!"

"Where are we?" Hikaru asked.

"Well, we don't seem to be in Tokyo," the blonde replied.

"Oh, really? That's news to me. I was under the impression there were many floating islands above the skies of Tokyo!" exclaimed the blue-haired girl. "It's so hot here that if this is Tokyo, someone needs to pay the air conditioning bills!"

"Well, we'll just have to sweat it out... until we can figure out how to get home, that is. Let's introduce ourselves."

"This is a fine time to make new acquaintances! We have an emergency on our hands!"

"Well," continued the blonde girl, "we seem to be the only ones who came from Tokyo Tower, so we should get to know each other. From now on we need to cooperate in any event."

Hikaru grinned.

"I'm Hououji Fuu," began the blonde girl. "In 8th grade. I enjoy watching the sunrise, star gazing, and long walks on the beach."

"I'm Ryuuzaki Umi, also in the 8th grade. I love fencing, eating, and Leonardo DiCaprio. My blood type is A."

"And I'm Shidou Hikaru! I like gymnastics, kendo, softball, hockey, basketball, synchronized swimming, curling, kendo, football, biking, hiking, mountain climbing, archery, volleyball, badminton, tennis, ping pong, kendo, anime, manga, j-pop, TV dramas, spelunking, paragliding, wind surfing, scuba diving, and kendo! I'm 14 and in 8th grade!"

Umi and Fuu looked shocked.

"What?! You don't look a day older than 11!"

Suddenly a short person jumped down beside them. He wore a white jewel-encrusted robe and held a tall staff in his hand.

"So these are the legendary Magic Knights summoned from the other world," he said. "But you're only children."

"Who are you calling children?!" Umi demanded. "You look about 10."

"Where are we?" Hikaru asked the person.

"You are in Ongaku. You were summoned here by Arpeggio-_hime_ to become the legendary Magic Knights."

"Magic Knights? Alright!" Hikaru exclaimed.

"Sounds like an RPG," commented Fuu.

"All we care about is going home!" Umi declared.

"You cannot go home," the short person replied. "Those summoned to Ongaku cannot return home by their own will."

"What?!" Umi cried. "I'm stuck in this world without sake, Häagen-Dazs, or Denny's?!"

"There is only one way to go home. You must save Ongaku."

* * *

"Legato-sama, what does the water mirror reveal?"

"The legendary Knights were summoned to this world, but they are still children. They must not revive the Mashin. Allegro, it is important to take care of unnecessary sprouts early. Take care of this problem."

A waterfall parted to reveal a tall, purple-haired, scantily-clad woman answer, "As you wish, Legato-sama."

* * *

"Ever since Arpeggio-_hime_, the pillar of our world, was kidnapped, music has disappeared from our world," the strange little man told the three girls. "Everyone lived happily, going to idol concerts and listening to CDs. Ever since we lost Arpeggio-_hime_, Ongaku has been a place devoid of music."

"When the princess disappeared, why did Ongaku lose its music?" Hikaru asked.

"Like I said, Arpeggio-_hime_ is the pillar of our world. The pillar has to request the playlist, and if the pillar does not do requests chaos and disorder are created."

"Who kidnapped the princess?" Hikaru inquired.

"The Court Musician, Legato. He took her somewhere. If you become the legendary Magic Knights as she requested, and save Ongaku, her request would be fulfilled. Then you could go home."

"Stop joking around! I don't have time to be a Magic Knight. I have a Leo fan club meeting tonight... and I have to feed my goldfish!" Umi insisted. "His name is Goldy."

"And I have a piano recital next week," Fuu added.

"You have a fish?" Hikaru asked. "I have a dog! His name is Hikari!"

"My, aren't they creative when it comes to naming pets," Fuu whispered to the man, giggling.

"Yes, I've never heard anything like it before," he replied in earnest. "I give my pets names such as Fyula and Forte."

A sweatdrop appeared on Fuu's head.

"To become a Magic Knight, you must revive the Mashin," the man continued. "But first, you need armor, magic, instruments, and Coda."

"Teach Magic!"

In a moment all three girls were dressed in weird armor, wearing hand ornaments with a jewel on each.

"Now I can use magic?" Hikaru asked excitedly.

"Yes, I tried to give you magic but it seems that the magic has chosen you."

The man raised his staff, aiming it at the the girls.

"Instrument Gift!"

Suddenly a violin appeared in Hikaru's hand. She looked over at Umi and Fuu to see them holding a trumpet and piccolo, respectively.

"I have given you growing armor and instruments. They grow according to the strength and mental powers of their owner. But if the owner doesn't grow, neither will the instruments."

"How do we expect these instruments of yours to grow if you can't even grow over 3 feet?" Umi retorted. "You probably can't even get on the Matterhorn at Disneyland!"

"I don't know what that is, but I could turn you into a midget if I wanted to, and then the only part of you that would be bigger than me is your mouth!"

He turned away to face the bushes behind him.

"Coda! Come here!"

A small white rabbit-like creature with a jewel on its forehead hopped out of the underbrush.

"Pu! Pu! Pu!"

"This is Coda. Take this animal with you. Only it knows where to find the Mashin."

The man turned to Hikaru. He pointed his finger at her forehead.

"Close your eyes. Do you feel it? Notes are forming in your heart."

"I feel it. Something hot deep inside me... it's turning into lyrics."

"That's your magic."

Suddenly the sky turned black and an annoying, menacing laugh pierced through the air, followed by loud rock music.

The purple-haired woman rode towards them through the air on a flying horse.

"Hurry and teach me magic too!" Umi demanded of the short man.

"It's too late! Legato's minions are already appearing!" the man said. "Beast Summon!"

A giant bird shot out of the treble clef at the top of his staff.

"Hurry and climb on. You must go through the Forest of Silence. Revive the Mashin. Rescue the princess."

"What's your name?" Hikaru called back to the short person after climbing onto the bird's back with Umi, Fuu, and Coda.

"It's Clef... Treble Clef!"

The bird lifted off and soared away into the air. Hikaru looked back as Clef turned to face the tall woman and her magical horse.

* * *

"I want to go back and help Clef!" Hikaru said to Umi and Fuu.

"Clef didn't want us to stay with him. The best way to help him would be to hurry and save Ongaku," Fuu told her.

"Let It Snow!"

A rock version of the familiar Christmas song played for a moment as a frozen blast shot at the bird, but he quickly dodged it.

The girls fearfully looked back to see Allegro astride her horse, pointing her staff at them. The loud rock music they had heard earlier accompanied her.

"Hello, Magic Knight trainees. I'm sorry we've only just met, but I'll have to kill all of you. Goodbye."

"Is this the end?!" asked Umi tearfully, the music giving her a headache.

"Let It Snow!"

Hikaru slowly stood up on the back of the bird and raised her violin to her shoulder.

"Chariots of Fire!" she yelled, beginning to play the piece with her bow. Fire blasted from her violin at Allegro.

The woman screamed in pain as she and her horse burst into flames. They disintegrated within seconds and the music stopped.

"Incredible! Is that the magic Treble Clef taught her?" Fuu said.

"Now we don't have to hear that woman's obnoxious laugh anymore," Umi announced. "Hahahahaha!"

"But we still have to hear yours," Fuu returned. "You sounded like a hyena just now."

"Well, I wasn't going to say something about your hair, but now that you mentioned that, there's no way that could be its original color!"

"At least it's not the color of Liquid-Plumr," Fuu replied with indifference, making Umi grow even more furious.

"Well, yours looks like... like... um-"

"Like what?"

"_Urusai_!"

"Umi-chan, Fuu-chan, we're the only people here, so try to get along," Hikaru interrupted. "We're about to land now anyways."

* * *

"So, is this is the Forest of Silence?" Fuu wondered. "There's no noise here. No music."

"Pu! Pu!" Coda answered, nodding.

"Where do we go from here?" Hikaru asked.

A beam of light shot from the jewel on Coda's head.

"I think it means for us to go that way," Hikaru informed the others.

"Pu! Pu!"

* * *

After the girls had been following Coda for a couple hours they were getting tired. Suddenly the ground began to shake and a giant flower with an eye in its center sprang out of the ground before them.

"It's a monster! Umi-chan, Fuu-chan, get your instruments ready!"

Hikaru held up her violin.

"Chariots of Fire!" she shouted.

No music came from her violin.

"Chariots of Fire!" she repeated, with the same result.

"What's wrong with your magic? Why isn't it working?! Maybe it's defective?" Umi shrieked.

"Well, this is the Forest of Silence," Fuu called back, scrambling away. "Maybe we can't make music here!"

"I guess I'll have to use my brain to kill it," Umi muttered to herself.

"Have you had much experience with that?" Fuu questioned skeptically.

Hikaru, already with her violin out, jumped up and squarely hit the monster with the head of her instrument. It fell to the ground dead.

"How can little Hikaru be so brave?" Umi demanded jealously.

"I don't think it will be us, but maybe Hikaru-san will be the Magic Knight that Clef was talking about."

"Hey, speak for yourself!" Umi protested. "I have the makings of a great Magic Knight."

* * *

Each girl pulled out her instrument. Hikaru creamed the next monster on the head while Umi went for its ankles. In a moment it had fallen to the ground.

"See, Fuu? I'm a super Magic Knight!" Umi declared.

"Pu! Pu! Pu!"

"You mean this is the place where the Mashin is resting?" Hikaru asked Coda.

"Pu! Pu!" it negated, shaking its head from side to side.

"You mean this is the exit of the forest?"

"Pu!" it nodded.

The girls stepped out of the woods onto a sandy beach next to an oceanside resort.

"Hikaru, Fuu, let's stop there for some sake!" Umi enthused.

"But Umi-chan, we have to hurry and become Magic Knights to save Ongaku," Hikaru replied.

"Pu! Pu! Pu! Pu!"

A light again shot out of Coda's jewel, this time turning into a large bowl with wings.

"I think we're supposed to get in," Hikaru told the others.

"Pu!"

They all climbed aboard and lifted off into the sky. They soared over the ocean for a few moments.

"Doesn't it seem like we've gone through Doraemon's Dokodemo Door to an adventure?" Fuu contemplated.

"But if this were anime, then we'd have take-copters to fly home!" Umi replied.

Suddenly the bowl dropped. It fell into the water and Coda gave it a water-tight lid.

"Pu! Pu! Pu!"

"The Mashin must be under the sea," Hikaru said.

The craft steadily went downwards until coming upon an underwater shrine.

"Umi-chan, you look strange," Hikaru said in concern.

"I feel funny," Umi replied weakly. "I have a sudden craving for pickles and ice cream and singing karaoke."

The submersible went into the shrine and the lid disappeared.

"There's definitely air in here," Fuu remarked.

The girls decided to split up to look for the Mashin.

* * *

"Did you find anything?" Hikaru asked.

"No, I didn't see anything," Fuu reported. "Where's Umi-san?"

"Hello, Magic Knights. I've been asked by Legato to kill you."

Hikaru and Fuu spun around to see a short boy with brown bangs covering his eyes, wearing a big hat, standing on a flying rock.

"Beast Summon!" he called.

Jazz music began playing loudly as the boy traced a star in the air in front of him. The girls watched as a giant monster emerged from the star. It looked like a huge, ugly caterpillar.

"Andante," the boy addressed the monster, "let's play a game today. Kill these Magic Knights."

"Fuu-chan, get ready!" Hikaru instructed, pulling out her violin.

"Chariots of Fire!" Hikaru yelled, and a blast of flame hit the monster.

"I did it!" she called, but then the monster grew larger and threw the fire back at Hikaru. She collapsed to the floor in pain.

"Stupid girls," the boy commented. "You'll never beat Andante."

* * *

Umi was standing alone in a large empty room. She was staring at a large painted wall. The wall depicted a gigantic navy blue dragon.

Suddenly, the dragon picture began to move. Umi continued to stare at it as if in a trance. The dragon came out of the picture, no longer a flat painting but a real creature.

"I am the Legendary Mashin, Scales, who has been waiting for a Magic Knight to awaken me. Magic Knight, you must show me the strength of your heart."

"Strength of my heart?" Umi replied.

"Only one with the strongest heart is worthy to wear me. Show me the strength of your heart."

Abruptly something blasted open the door across the room. Umi could see a giant monster fighting Hikaru.

"Hikaru!" Umi cried as the red-haired girl was attacked by the monster.

"Leave the girls alone," Scales told Umi. "They may die here, but you cannot let yourself die helping them. You must show me the strength of your heart. Show me your music."

"I didn't learn magic from Clef, and I've never had any music training in my life," Umi protested, not taking her eyes from her friends.

"You must sing karaoke for me," Scales replied. Just then loud music began to play.

"Hey, I know this song! It's _White Love_!" Umi exclaimed.

"Yes, we all love SPEED in this world too, you know. Now sing and show me the strength of your heart."

Umi started to sing the familiar lyrics, but she kept watching Hikaru and the monster. Hikaru and Fuu both tried hitting the monster with their instruments, but it only blasted them away.

"No!" Umi yelled. "If getting the Mashin means deserting my friends, then I don't want it!"

Umi saw Coda standing alone.

"Coda!" Umi called. "Give me magic! I need magic to help Hikaru and Fuu!"

"Pu!"

A blue light shone out from Coda's jewel and enveloped Umi.

"Umi, can you hear me?" a voice asked.

"Yes, I hear you."

"I am Clef."

"Coda's snobby, short master?!"

"Hey, if you aren't nice to me I won't show you how to use magic!"

"Oh. Sorry. Okay, I'm listening."

"You wish to have magic to help your friends," Clef's voice continued. "You have the magic inside of you. Notes are forming in your heart."

"The bottom of my heart is burning. I feel lyrics emerging."

"That's your magic."

* * *

Umi stood up beside Coda.

"That overgrown worm is going to get a taste of brass."

"Pu! Pu! Pu!"

Umi pulled out her trumpet and ran toward the caterpillar-like monster just as it was rearing to attack Hikaru.

"Water Music!" she cried, and began to play Handel's famous piece. A stream of water washed out of her trumpet and splashed over the monster.

It began to shrink in size.

"Boy, I'm good," Umi complimented herself. "I could be in a symphony orchestra if I wanted to."

Then, to Umi's surprise, the monster grew again, this time larger than it was before. It shot the water attack back at Umi.

"Umi-chan!" Hikaru called out.

"Are you alright?" Umi asked her.

"Yes," Hikaru told her, smiling weakly. "Because you saved me."

Meanwhile Fuu had joined Coda near the doorway.

"Coda-san, please give me magic too. I need magic to help Umi."

Coda's jewel turned green, and a mint light covered Fuu.

"Fuu, you wish for magic to help Umi," a voice said.

"Clef-san?"

"Yes, I am Clef. Your magic is within your heart. Do you feel notes forming?"

"Yes... lyrics are coming to me."

"That's your magic."

Fuu held her piccolo to her lips.

"Colors of the Wind!" she called, and began to play. The Disney song's music filled the room, and a healing wind swirled around Umi and Hikaru.

Umi stood up.

"Umi-chan, you're okay!" Hikaru pronounced happily.

"You too." Umi grinned. She turned to Fuu. "Thank you."

Fuu blushed. "No, thank you. Without you, we would all be finished."

"It's not over yet," a voice spoke up. "The games have hardly begun."

The brown-haired boy was looking down at the girls from his floating rock. "Beast Summon!"

The loud jazz began to play again as two more monsters appeared.

"Andante, let's play tag."

Just then the dragon stood up and transformed into a giant robot. The Magic Knights, the boy, and the monsters all stopped to watch.

"The Mashin is a robot?" Hikaru asked.

The shiny blue robot resembled a dragon. It put its fists together and a blue orb of light appeared between them. The robot flung the light ball at Andante, and it was killed instantly. All that was left was a blackish puddle.

"It helped us," Umi said in disbelief, "but I didn't show the strength of my heart."

"Andante!" the boy was sobbing over the puddle. "They did this to you... my friend! I will never forgive them for this!"

"You have passed the test," the Mashin told Umi.

"Umi-san, the Mashin tested the strength of your heart."

"I see," Hikaru added. "Umi-chan didn't run away when we needed her, so she got the Mashin!"

"Magic Knight, you are not yet strong enough to wear me. I will appear to you again when that time comes," Scales said to Umi. The Mashin turned into light and went into a jewel on Umi's armor. Each girl's armor grew larger and more decorated.

"Look at my violin! It's a... viola!" Hikaru exclaimed.

"Mine's changed too!" Umi discovered. "It's a... um..."

"A trombone," Fuu finished for her. "And mine is an alto flute now. See, each of us has a larger instrument than before."

"So that's what that shrimp Clef meant about growing instruments," Umi commented.

"Umi-chan, don't call him that!" Hikaru protested. "It's not nice! Just because he's even shorter than I am doesn't mean - hey! We forgot about that boy!"

"You murdered my friend." The boy was glaring at the girls. "He was my very dear friend. How dare you? How dare you?!"

Umi walked over and slapped the boy.

"If he was your friend, then why did you set him against us? You wouldn't want to be responsible for your friends doing bad things, would you? If these monsters are your friends, please believe in them."

"Everyone says that monsters can't be friends," the boy replied.

"Guess he's never seen _Pokemon_," Hikaru whispered to Fuu.

"So when Legato said we could live in the palace together, away from everyone, I wanted to," he continued. "All I had to do was kill the Magic Knights."

"What's your name?" Umi asked.

"Atempo."

"Interesting name... sounds like something to eat."

"I'm afraid we have to go now, or we'll be late for my friends' chess tournament."

"These monsters play chess?" Umi was surprised.

"Well, I think they prefer Monopoly, but that game isn't played in tournaments... in this world, anyway," Atempo explained.

* * *

The winged bowl resurfaced with Hikaru, Umi, Fuu, and Coda. It flew out of the water and into the air. Hikaru was concerned when it didn't head toward shore, but Coda affirmed that they were going the right direction.

"Look over there!" Fuu directed, pointing ahead. "It's the island in the sky that we saw when we arrived in this world."

"Coda, you aren't suggesting that we fly to a floating island?" Umi demanded.

"Pu! Pu!"

Just then familiar rock music began to play.

"Oh, no," Hikaru moaned. "You don't think it could be..."

"I'm afraid so," Fuu managed to say.

Allegro stood on the edge of the floating island, laughing.

"What?!" shrieked Umi. "I thought we got rid of her!"

"I'm stronger than that," Allegro scoffed. "I didn't know your abilities at the time, redhead. But now I know the limits of your pathetic power, and I will extinguish your flame. You'll never awaken the other two Mashin."

"There's two more?!"

"Now it really is goodbye."

The girls pulled out their instruments.

"Let It Snow!" Allegro called, flinging her attack at the flying transport. She hit it straight on, sending it plummeting to the sea below.

"That does it!" Umi hissed through gritted teeth as she fell. "I despise people being so annoying. Water Music!"

Umi's attack shot up to the island and crashed around the purple-haired lady. The girls watched her topple over the edge of the island.

Meanwhile, they were nearing the ocean surface. The damaged vessel splashed into the waves, soaking the girls, but remaining buoyant.

"Coda!" the dripping Umi yelled. "You always lead us into ugly monsters!"

"Are you okay?" Hikaru asked her friends.

"I'm wet, but otherwise fine," Fuu assured. "It was a scary drop, though."

"Well, at least the old woman was right about one thing," Umi replied. "This time it really was goodbye."

* * *

"How do we get to the floating island now that the ship has been destroyed?" Fuu asked.

"Pu! Pu! Pu!"

Coda's jewel light shone to produce a brand-new winged bowl.

"Wow, Coda!" Hikaru said excitedly. "What a wonderful talent!"

"I bet Coda knows everything and enjoys watching us get into trouble."

"Come get in, Umi-chan," Hikaru encouraged. "Let's go!"

* * *

As the flying bowl came upon the island again, Fuu clutched her stomach.

"What's wrong, Fuu?" Umi asked.

"I'm not sure. I feel strange."

"It's alright, Umi-chan," Hikaru spoke up. "You looked just like that when we found the first Mashin."

"First Mashin," Umi repeated. "It was so hard to get it. How can we find and awaken two more?"

"Well, one of them must be on this island, since Fuu-chan is - oh, Fuu-chan!"

Fuu was floating in the air. She drifted over the edge of the bowl and into a cave entrance on the island.

"Fuu!" Umi called after her.

Within a minute, Hikaru and Umi had landed on the island. Determined to find Fuu, they marched into the cave with Coda right behind them.

"Hello, Magic Knights," a voice greeted them in an Osaka accent.

"Who's there?" Hikaru demanded, peering into the darkness.

Lights appeared in the cave, as well as the sound of country music. A woman whose pink hair was pulled into a ponytail smiled at the girls. She was wearing a very revealing outfit accented by red jewels.

"Look at what she's dressed in," Umi whispered, elbowing Hikaru. "Someone should call the fashion police on the women of this world."

"Excuse me, have you seen our friend?" Hikaru faced the young woman. "She just came through here."

"Oh, yes, I saw her. You'll see her again soon."

"Really? Thank you!"

"Who are you?" Umi asked. "Are you from the Osaka area of Japan?"

"Osaka? Japan? What's that?" the woman replied quizzically. "I am Crescendo, and I work for Legato."

"Legato?" Hikaru and Umi repeated in unison.

* * *

Fuu stood before a wall painted in green. It depicted a large green bird. The bird materialized from the wall.

"I am the legendary Mashin, Windchime," it told Fuu in a booming voice, which did not remotely resemble wind-chimes. "I have been waiting in this Wind Shrine for a Magic Knight to awaken me. You wish to wear me. Show me the strength of your heart."

"The strength of my heart?" Fuu echoed, transfixed.

A door opened behind Fuu and she heard footsteps... and country music. She tore her gaze from the bird.

"Hikaru-san! Umi-san!" Fuu ran towards her friends. "I'm so glad you're alright!"

The two girls stood with their heads down, not moving.

"Hikaru-san?"

Hikaru looked up through glazed eyes. She lifted her viola and swung it at Fuu.

"Ouch!" Fuu's shoulder ached from where it had hit her.

Umi drew forward, trombone in hand.

"Umi-san! Why?"

The red-haired and blue-haired girls responded by raising their instruments.

* * *

Fuu pulled herself up from the floor covered with bruises. Hikaru and Umi stared at her, expressionless.

"Magic Knight," a voice demanded attention. A young pink-haired woman appeared before Fuu.

"Your friends are under my hypnotic powers," she declared. "Fight them. Don't just stand there and take it."

"Little Red Corvette!" Hikaru yelled, her new Artist-Formerly-Known-As-Prince attack sending bolts of crimson lightning at Fuu, forcing the blonde again to the ground.

"I can't. Stop this please!" Fuu implored. "I can't hurt my friends!"

"Why not? Have you been close for a long time?"

"I met them when I arrived in this world."

"Then why do you care about them so deeply?" Crescendo asked.

"It doesn't matter how long we've known each other. It's what's in our hearts that counts. They are my very important friends and we are going to become Magic Knights together. We are the most important threesome in this world."

"You're insane," Crescendo reprimanded. "Well, if you won't fight on your own, I'll make you. I'll use my hypnotic bells on you. Then you'll do whatever I do."

"Why are you doing this?" Fuu asked. "Why are you working for Legato?"

Crescendo's eyes turned to hearts.

"Money!" she exclaimed. "Money! Money! Money!"

A big sweatdrop appeared on Fuu's head.

"I have nothing against you girls," Crescendo explained. "But Legato is paying me big bucks for this job. Frankly, I don't know what this is all about; he wouldn't tell me. But I get paid in cash, so I figured it doesn't make a difference to me what he's up to."

"You're willing to murder for money?"

"I needs lots of capital to start up my own disco club and country-themed karaoke bar!"

Fuu's sweatdrop slid down her cheek.

"It's been my life-long dream, since I'm a dancer by profession and worshiper of country music!"

"Speaking of karaoke," a deep voice boomed, "Magic Knight, show me your music. Sing now, and and I will protect you from the hypnotism. At least you can revive the Mashin to save Ongaku, even if your friends must be left in this shrine."

Fuu heard new music begin to drown out the country tunes. She gasped.

"Isn't this a song by T.M. Revolution?"

"Yes. Sing karaoke for me."

"No!" Fuu yelled. "I can't sing a masculine song! Besides which, I can't forget my friends!"

Crescendo promptly began dancing, shaking the red jewels on her clothes, earrings, and slippers. The jewels tinkled like bells.

Fuu felt her arms start to move. She willed them to stop, but they held up her flute with a force not her own. Fuu saw that however Crescendo moved, Fuu mirrored her.

"Now this is top-notch entertainment, wouldn't you say?" Crescendo remarked. "Time for the grand finale, and then I get my money!"

"Stop, Crescendo!"

Atempo had appeared. He stood between Crescendo and Fuu.

"Don't hurt them!" he commanded. "They're good people."

"Move out of the way, Atempo."

"I won't. Please, Crescendo, don't -"

Atempo fell over sideways, mid-sentence, frozen in position.

"What did you do to him?!" Fuu asked, aghast.

"He's fine. I'll wake him up later. Poor Atempo. I love him like a brother. Because of you girls Legato has banished him from the castle. I'm going to clear his name so he can return without shame."

Fuu faced her bravely.

"If you love him, how could you do that to him?" the girl reprimanded. "He was only doing what he thinks is right. Isn't that more important then money?"

Crescendo looked down at Atempo, thoughtful.

"You're right. I don't know what Legato is trying to do, but I won't be a part of it anymore. Even if I didn't have qualms about it myself, I don't wanna stand in the way of Atempo's right to live out his ethical code."

Abruptly Atempo sprang up and the two brainwashed girls returned to their normal selves.

" - do this anymore!" Atempo was crying out. "They are - huh?"

"It's okay," Crescendo told him. "I see that you and the Magic Knights are right. Let's go."

Umi walked over to the small boy.

"We'll always be your friends," she said, smiling.

At that moment the bird transformed into a giant green robot. It then turned into a greenish light and sprang into Fuu's armor jewel.

"You have shown me the strength of your heart," Windchime proclaimed. "You are not strong enough yet to wear me, but I will appear to you again when you need me."

* * *

"Are we a team or what?"

"Of course, Umi-chan!" Hikaru replied happily as they walked through a large field. "Only one more Mashin to go, and then we can save Ongaku from eternal silence!"

"Down with Legato!" Umi was feeling cheerful.

"We will be much stronger now with this new armor and these new instruments that Windchime gave us," Fuu noted.

"It was cool!" Hikaru agreed. "Now I have a cello!"

"Fuu, what is my instrument?"

"It seems to be a baritone, Umi-san."

"Fuu-chan's is still a flute."

Fuu held up her wind instrument.

"It's a soprano flute," she decided. "I used to play one of these in band."

"Pu!" Coda confirmed.

"Eh? What's with the weather? It's suddenly much colder."

Allegro leaped into the girls' path. This time she was wearing a different costume - in Fuu's opinion, even more hideous than the first.

"She never dies!" Umi shrieked. "Just like a virtual pet - she keeps coming back!"

"Does this world have nobody other than overly-voluptuous women in skimpy garb and cutesy little boys?" Fuu bemoaned.

Allegro flung her ice attack at the Magic Knights, her classic laugh invading the girls' ears. Hikaru rushed up to the woman and bashed her with the cello.

"Having a bigger instrument sure comes in handy!" she remarked.

"Colors of the Wind!" yelled Fuu.

"Water Music!" yelled Umi.

Aaaah!" yelled Allegro.

The girls weren't impressed.

"This is the last straw," Umi warned.

"The end of the rope," Fuu added.

"Boy, are you gonna get it!" Hikaru threatened.

Allegro took another look at her competition, turned, and fled.

"Wimp," Umi declared. "Arpeggio-_hime_, please guard us from ever seeing that old lady's face again."

* * *

"It's a volcano," Fuu said.

"My, Fuu, how you have a knack for stating the obvious."

"Let's go inside, Umi-chan! Fuu-chan!"

"Pu! Pu! Pu!"

* * *

"Fire. Heat. Red light," Hikaru said, as if in a trance. She was floating alone through the center of the volcano toward a wall of fire.

From the wall emerged an animal of flame.

"Wolf?" Hikaru thought. "No... lion?"

"I am the legendary Mashin, Rhythm. Magic Knight, you must show me the strength of your heart. Only one with the strongest heart is worthy to wear me."

"Strength of my heart?" Hikaru repeated.

"Sing karaoke so that I can hear your music."

"Oh, right!" Hikaru seemed to snap out of her trance. "Umi-chan and Fuu-chan got to do that! Can I do a song by Amuro Namie?"

"Umm... this is not turning out how I expected," Rhythm decided. "Just go see your friends."

"But what about my solo?" Hikaru questioned, as a gust of wind carried her away from the Mashin. Two large doors opened and Hikaru was dropped on the other side of them. They closed silently behind her.

"Maybe the Mashin is partial to a different idol?" Hikaru thought aloud. "I'd have been happy to sing something else..."

"Hikaru!" Umi's voice interrupted. "Help! This guy has a giant sword!"

"Hikaru-san!"

The two other Magic Knights were being cornered by a tall, muscular man in blue armor. He was pointing the end of an enormous sword at them, as the voice of a rapper filled the room.

"Bein' Green!" Fuu called out, flinging a gale of wind at the man. The lyrics of Kermit the Frog's lament swirled through her mind and felt rather insightful.

The man only swung his sword, creating a more forceful wind. The rap music seemed to surround him like a mist.

"Fuu-chan!" Hikaru cried.

"It seems I've created a new attack," Fuu replied weakly, before collapsing.

"No fair," Umi huffed. "My turn. Blue Room!" Her trombone spewed a hurricane of water at the opposition as Perry Como's voice pierced through the air.

Their adversary swung his sword quickly. Hikaru watched in horror as her friends' armor blew away. The man was swinging wildly.

Hikaru ran between them.

"Stop!" she commanded, bracing herself from the wind. It was too strong, however, and she fell to her knees, dropping her cello.

Them man saw this and picked it up in his arms. It erupted into flames on contact with his skin. He yelped and dropped it.

Singed, he slowly rose to his feet.

"Arpeggio-_hime_!" he cried dazedly. "Arpeggio-_hime_!"

He noticed Hikaru again. She had lost her armor now as well.

"What happened to you?" he asked in pure wonder. "Where are we?"

He looked down at his sword.

"Did I...?"

"It's alright," Hikaru confirmed. "You didn't realize what you were doing. You may have been brainwashed. Nothing to be ashamed of, really. Hey, it happened to me too. I'm Hikaru."

"I am Ritardando, captain of the royal guard, sworn to protect Arpeggio-_hime_," the man replied. "Where is she?"

"She's been kidnapped by the Court Musician, Legato!" Hikaru related. "Umi-chan and Fuu-chan and I were summoned to this world by Arpeggio-_hime_ to become the legendary Magic Knights. We have to rescue her so Ongaku can be full of music again."

"You're telling the truth," Ritardando realized. "I failed to protect my princess. The last thing I remember is her calling my name as Legato carried her off... I've failed her... I should commit _seppuku_, I suppose."

"No, don't kill yourself over this!" Hikaru admonished. "I'm sure she knows you tried your best."

"My best wasn't good enough, " he replied dejectedly, shaking his head.

"You are correct," a deep voice spoke up. It belonged to a tall man with very long, jet black hair and bulky silver armor.

"He looks like Yasha from _RG Veda_!" Hikaru mouthed in amazement.

"Legato!" Ritardando pointed his sword at the other man.

"Legato?" Hikaru was stunned.

"You betrayed our princess!" Ritardando accused, running toward his dark enemy.

Legato shot a glowing purplish orb at the swordsman, who screamed in pain.

Hikaru purposely moved between the two men, and stood there with her arms spread to shield Ritarando from more assault.

"Move away from that sorry excuse for a soldier," Legato directed sternly.

Hikaru firmly stood her ground.

"Fine, it's your funeral," Legato returned with an even gaze. "I was going to kill you next anyway."

Right at that moment the two doors opened and Rhythm came out. The wolf-lion transformed into a towering red robot resembling a wolf and promptly set out to stomp Legato.

The musician saw it coming and immediately disappeared.

"Legendary Magic Knight," Rhythm addressed Hikaru, "you have showed me the strength of your heart through your love and forgiveness."

Just them Umi sat up and saw what had happened. She shook Fuu and with effort they both rose to their feet.

"Umi-chan! Fuu-chan!" Hikaru ran to them. "We have revived all three Mashin!"

"Thanks to you, Hikaru-san," Fuu smiled. "I could never have made it this far without you."

"Me neither," Umi added. "You kept us going even when I would have given up or stopped to drink sake."

"Let's go rescue Arpeggio-_hime_!" Hikaru enthused. "Rhythm!"

"Scales!"

"Windchime!"

At the girls' summoning, all three Mashin stood before them, and the Magic Knights were now wearing completely different armor from the earlier versions. Hikaru had a red, white, and gold dress, Umi a blue and black leotard, and Fuu a green and gold dress. Their instruments had evolved as well. Hikaru grasped a bass awkwardly, Umi dropped her tuba from the sudden added weight, and Fuu fingered a silver flute.

Then the girls each found themselves in a sort of transparent bubble.

"I think we are each inside a Mashin," Hikaru said.

"Actually, I think we and the Mashin have become one," Fuu replied. "See, when I move, the Mashin is moving."

"So this is what 'wearing a Mashin' means," Umi concluded. "And notice, Scales is holding my tuba for me. What a nice Mashin. My arms were falling off from carrying those instruments around."

* * *

The girls followed Coda out of the volcano.

"Coda, where to?"

"Pu! Pu! Pu!"

Coda's jewel turned pink, and a light shone out of it. The light formed into a picture of a beautiful young blonde girl. She looked very fragile and gentle.

"Magic Knights," she spoke softly.

"That voice...!" Fuu gasped in surprise.

"The one from Tokyo Tower!" Umi supplied.

"Are you Arpeggio-_hime_?" Hikaru asked.

"Yes," the girl answered. "Please... help save this world. Hurry. Before it's too late!"

"Where are you?"

"Follow this light," the princess replied in a small voice. "Where the points meet is where you'll find me."

The picture flickered out, and Coda transferred half of the light beam to Rhythm, and the other to Windchime. The beams shot up into the sky.

"Let's go," Hikaru called.

"Pu!" Coda called after them, wishing them the protection of Arpeggio-_hime_.

The three Mashin sprang into the sky and flew upward.

* * *

"Hikaru-san," Fuu said as they soared through the dark expanse of sky, "when we get back home, what is the first thing you want to do?"

Hikaru grinned. "I want to see Hikari!"

Umi sighed and shook her head.

"What will you do, Umi-chan?"

"Oh, I'm gonna pig out on cup ramen and Big Macs. I've been deprived of junk food ever since we got here."

"My, what a shame," Fuu returned, a teasing smile on her face. "How can you go on with this void in your life?"

Umi continued, ignoring the comment. "And I'll go to my fencing tournament and win it!"

"How can you expect to fence well if you stuff yourself right before the tournament?" Hikaru asked curiously.

Umi ignored this as well.

"What about you, Fuu-chan? What will you do?"

Fuu thought for a moment. "I need to begin studying for high school entrance exams."

"Get real! They aren't for months yet!" Umi protested.

"It's imperative that I pass with the best scores," Fuu responded. "I must do my best work."

"Man, it's a good thing you met me, Fuu," Umi told her. "I'll make sure you don't waste too much time reading textbooks! You need to get out a little more often... there's so much fun stuff to do in Tokyo!"

"We'll always be friends, right?" Hikaru put in.

"Of course!"

The girls were getting closer to the place where the lights met. It was a large crystal castle.

"Arpeggio-_hime_ must be trapped inside!"

* * *

"How do we get in?" Fuu wondered aloud, her emerald eyes scanning the peculiar structure.

"Hikaru, Fuu, what is that?" Umi asked sharply, pointing toward the top of the castle.

Hikaru's eyes narrowed.

"It looks like a Mashin, doesn't it?" Fuu ventured. "A big, black, scary one."

Whatever it was moved. Then it began to approach the three girls.

Yes, it was obviously a Mashin, a big black scary one.

"You have succeeded in awakening the three legendary Mashin," a familiar deep voice came from the black robot. "But this is as far as it goes."

"Legato has a Mashin," Hikaru said quietly.

"How do you know?" Fuu questioned with a sinking feeling.

"That voice... it's Legato," Hikaru replied.

"So what?" Umi tossed her hair. "So he's got a Mashin. We have three of them. This will be a piece of cake."

"Thunderstrike!" Legato yelled. A larger explosion of light and energy than Hikaru could have ever imagined burst toward her. She screamed.

* * *

Hikaru picked herself up, as did her friends. They were a little worse off than a moment ago.

"Okay, so I was wrong," Umi said.

"Little Red Corvette!"

The attack was easily blocked by Legato's Mashin.

Suddenly an alarm went off inside the castle. Legato turned abruptly.

"Oh, my muffins! I hope they aren't burning. Ah... you girls better not think you've gotten off easy, alright?" he said hastily. "I'll be right back to deal with you!"

Without another word he raced into a secret doorway in the crystal castle.

"The entrance!" Fuu pointed. "Let's go in and rescue Arpeggio-_hime_ while we can!"

"That weird guy is in there!" Umi protested.

"This may be our only chance!" Hikaru argued. "Come on!"

The three Mashin entered the castle. They walked down a long narrow hallway.

"I hear music coming form over there," Umi noted. "Let's head in that direction."

"Magic Knights!"

"Arpeggio-_hime_?" the three asked in unison. They couldn't tell where the voice came from.

"Please... hurry!"

"We're coming!" Hikaru assured.

"What are you doing here?" Legato's voice boomed. The black Mashin had rounded a corner and and stood before them.

Umi drew her tuba forward.

"Hi-ya!" she yelled, hitting the robot in the torso area.

"Umi-san," Fuu said quietly. "the Mashin is made of strong armor. Bashing it will only aggravate him."

"Okay," Hikaru took charge. "Let's combine attacks, you guys! Each of us fire at once! On the count of three..."

"Oh, no you don't," Legato threatened. "Stop right where-"

"One!"

" - you are, young ladies!"

"Two!"

"Dark Curtain!"

Somewhat shielding herself from the attack, Hikaru yelled, "Three!"

"Spiral Flash!" the girls called out together. Red, blue, and green lights spun around the Mashin and headed toward Legato.

He ducked into a side corridor before the powerful attack reached him. He hadn't been harmed.

"Forget him, let's hurry to Arpeggio-_hime_!" Fuu directed. The Knights raced past him down the hallway.

* * *

"She's in this room," Hikaru said, staring at the large door.

"How do you know?" Umi asked.

"I can feel it..."

The girls shoved the door open wide and ran inside.

Arpeggio-_hime_ was indeed there. She sat before a grand piano looking forlornly at a book of sheet music. Surrounding her, filling the room, were numerous instruments and music books.

The girls exited their Mashin and walked forward tentatively. The princess didn't seem to notice them, and began to play a beautiful piece on the ivory keys.

The angelic melody moved Hikaru. She didn't want to interrupt but she knew that Lagato would be upon them in a moment.

"Excuse me," she began. "We are the legendary Magic Knights you summoned to rescue you."

The princess turned to them with a look of joyful relief on her face. She smiled at them warmly, and tears formed in her large ocean-deep blue eyes.

"You've come!"

She leapt from the piano bench and ran to them. She buried her face into Hikaru's dress and clutched her in fright.

"It's alright," Hikaru comforted, hugging Arpeggio-_hime_. "We're here now. We'll save you from Legato."

Fuu looked about the spacious room.

"This doesn't look much like the prison I imagined," she said. "And... I thought Legato kidnapped you to rid the world of all music... but then why all these instruments?"

Arpeggio-_hime_ gazed at her.

"No. He had a purpose far worse than that," she confided.

"If you don't mind my asking, what was Legato's reason for kidnapping you?"

"To... give me music lessons!"

"What?" Hikaru had to ask.

"He brought me here to teach me classical music!" Arpeggio-_hime_ replied, distraught. "It was torture! I've been suffering through learning Bach and Beethoven for days, so I knew the only way to get away was to summon you girls to Ongaku!"

"Tell me I didn't hear that," Umi said flatly.

"I can't thank you enough for rescuing me," Arpeggio-_hime_ continued. "You see, Legato did not like my style of music. He abducted me so he could force me to learn his favorite pieces, and therefore condemn Ongaku to only be full of classical music forever!"

Hikaru blinked.

"Magic Knights, we must hurry and get away from here," the princess warned. "Legato could be back at any moment."

She shuddered.

"Tri-color Teleport," the Knights called out.

* * *

The four girls were in the royal castle in Ongaku.

"Hold everything!" Umi cried. "If we'd known we could do that before, we could've teleported directly to the crystal castle in the first place!"

"But, Umi-san, we didn't have the Mashin or the strength of our hearts back then."

"Thank you," Arpeggio-_hime_ told the Magic Knights fervently. "I will forever be indebted to you. You have saved this world from tragedy."

"May we return to our world now?" Hikaru asked. "We've missed it."

"Yes. Goodbye, Magic Knights."

"Wait a sec!" Umi interjected. "Before we leave, I'd just like to know one thing: what is your style of music, Arpeggio-_hime_?"

The princess beamed with pride.

"Heavy Metal!"

* * *

Story by Komashin Sei and James Taylor

Disclaimers:

Magic Knight Rayearth characters, names, etc. © by CLAMP, Kodansha, and Toei Animation, the rightful owners of these characters and settings. No profit is made from this work.

Doraemon characters, names, etc. © by Fujiko F. Fujio, Shogakkan, and TV Asahi

Pokemon © by Tajiri Satoshi, Shogakkan, and TV Asahi

Author's Notes (1998):

Hi! Did you enjoy this _Magic Knight Rayearth_ alternate universe? I hope so! ^_^ I had so much fun writing it with James. Thank you so much, James! =D

Also, a big thank you to J, K, and B for all their help and good ideas! K in particular, who typed up a lot of the story for me. _Doomo arigatou gozaimasu, minna!_

Just want to mention a few things about the fanfic...

"Ongaku" is a Japanese word. Translation? "Music!" A little hint of things to come to those of you who know (at least some) Japanese.

If you're familiar with playing or singing music, you've probably realized that in Ongaku all the characters have a musical term for their name, such as Crescendo, Legato, Arpeggio, etc. We thought up the idea starting with Doushi Clef. His name was so easy to change into Treble Clef! The other names followed quickly. Once we figured out the musical theme for the AU, we assigned music genres to each character: Allegro = rock, Atempo = jazz, Crescendo = country, Ritardando = rap, Legato = classical, Arpeggio-_hime_ = heavy metal).

This AU is based on the first season of the TV anime, _Magic Knight Rayearth_. It also incorporates some aspects of the _Magic Knight Rayearth_ manga series.

Thanks for reading, and if you'd like to message me to let us know how you like it, I'd be happy to hear from you! Comments, opinions, constructive criticism...

Author's Notes (2014):

I just dug up and re-read this fanfic that I co-wrote with James over 15 years ago, and I think it's held up. James was the comedy mastermind, so the juiciest one-liners came from him. Hope you had a bit of fun with this fic!


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